Way To Smash That Art Gallery

• May 1, 2012
• 6 notes

nicejobcheguevara:

Way to smash up that locally-owned art gallery. Nice Job Che Guevara!

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La Revolución: 1

Art: 0

Local Small Business: 0

A new Tumblr about the excesses of Kids-with-Dreadlocks-style Anarchism.

A Stranger at the Farm McCaskill

• April 16, 2012
• 1 note

Oh! Hello there! My name is Mitch McCaskill and this here’s my farm. We don’t get many travelers come down this road. Where is it that you hail from? Wait, before you answer, I’d like to wager a guess, your features are so distinct. Spindly little arms and legs, big eyes, green skin. My God! You must be a… a… a Martian! My goodness, I can’t believe I’ve got a real, live Martian here on my front stoop. Oh? You say you’re not a Martian? You’re a little girl?

I suppose that’s possible, but then what about your big bulging eyes?

You say you’re wearing glasses? Well I reckon that makes sense, but — wait. Let me put my head together for a moment. Yes. Yes! I don’t believe it’s impossible for a Martian to wear glasses. Yes! Haha! I know it’s silly, but hear me out: Martians are explorers, y’see? They’d be far too busy traveling around the universe to have bothered inventing laser eye surgery. My goodness. To discover a new world, a new civilization. It must be breathtaking, positively breathtaking, to land upon a new planet, walk down from your ship and be the first to shake hands with a being of a kind you’ve never seen before. And then! And then, to— to enslave them! My God!

You monster! You horrible alien beast! How could you! All those innocent people! No, don’t try to deny it! You’re a Martian destroyer — how else would you explain your green skin!

What’s that? A rare disease? You say your kidneys have failed and now your skin is stained by toxins in your blood?

What nonsense! Don’t try to feed me a charlatan’s story, as if I were some simple country rube. I laugh right in your face! Hah-hah! I see right through all of it, I do. Your claim is full of holes. Why, pray, would an innocent ‘little girl’ with ‘glasses’ and a ‘kidney disease’ be wandering alone down the dirt road in front of my house!

You say there’s been an accident? A crash? You in an ambulance with your parents and then there was — Blinding pain and spinning and darkness?

My God, that’s terrible! I think that might be the worst thing I’ve ever heard. And now that I think about it, I do recall hearing a loud crashing sound earlier. Unless… Yes, that sound — It must have been the sound of your spaceship crashing and now — and now you’ll trying to conquer the planet, starting with my farm!

Well, try as you might, I see right through your devious lies. Standing before you is one man you will not take alive. One man who will still stand and fight. I have no weapons save this spade and my resolve, but I promise you I have the latter in copious reserve!

Say your final words now, monster. Let your last wishes be known to the blackness. Say a prayer before you meet your horrible maker. What? Say it louder. Louder! Your voice — it’s so quiet. Hardly a whisper.

You say you just want to use the phone real quick?

Well, sure, it’s right here in the kitchen. Come on in, I’ll make you some Earth tea!